Torn between my mind and my heart.
Believing in ones dream is one thing and hoping that those dream will come true is another thing. Seeing those dreams and wishes crumble one by one and still holding on to any is tough. Seeing that you don't deserve what life throws at you at all even though you have't been such a good being is hard. I myself can't say i have been good, I've made few mistakes,,mmhh actually i've made lots of mistakes some shaped me to who i am now but some are like a burden to me. At the moment am feeling disappointed on myself for doing and accepting being in this situation that makes me wonder about tomorrow. Being pregnant is an awesome thing but sometimes is like being yourself in some else body that you have no control over. I don't know about tomorrow, don't even want to think about it if i do my head spins. Finding someone to talk to it's hard they only thing left is hiding behind closed doors and crying to a point where the tears runs dry. I know medically and emotionally ain't good at all but for me its have been working i really do know if there are some side effects to that but i hope there ain't. Am so torn by the person i love the most and the problem is am still in love with him yeah i know it sounds silly but its the truth. I did and still do everything cautiously not to hurt or harm him in any way but for him is vice verser. Am at that situation that i want to move on with my simple life but am still holding on to him calling me or sending a text that he's sorry and want to change, am torn between my mind and heart, should i move on or hold on. Am torn