The belief that love is non existing, and even if it does it fades away in time. Maybe there's no such thing as true love, and perhaps soulmate does not mean your lifetime lover maybe it means the one person who will be able to share the same values as you
Everybody looks for love eventually. The sense of belonging. A place of comfort. Everyone was created to be loved with or without their flaws. We make friends, build other relationships, but we all look for that one soulmate. The person you grow old with, start a family and raise those little rascals together, drink coffee on the porch and talk about the good old days.
So recently I was talking to some of my friends, some are in relationships and others are battling with finding a stable one. And a heated debate started, it escalated to a point none of us have presumed. But I learnt a lot from each one of them. Everyone was speaking from their own experiences, being vulnerable and showing your scars and pain to everyone is not easy but it made us closer. It made us become able to relate to each other.
Someone said in the conversation, ‘love is nothing but a fiction. A feeling that is like all other feelings, it one day disappears too.’ It had me thinking about how brutal but honest she was. Some argued that love is not a spark and if a spark is what we looked for then we will be playing with a lot of electrical cables. This basically means that we will keep jumping from one relationship to the next.
Settling is commitment to be patient, to work hard for a relationship, and tolerance. Yes! Tolerance. Eventually love fades away and the only thing that keeps things flowing is tolerance. We all want to look at our significant ones with love and admiration, but to be told that one day all that will be noting but a wishful dream, stinks and I refuse to believe. I think people forget, the reason they fell in love because we stop putting effort and doing those little things we used to do.
Someone said, ‘why marry for love? Just marry someone with the same values as you. If you have OCD then marry someone who has it too. Don’t come to me with all that and tell me how I should pack my mugs. They are clean right? And packed, what your problem?’ it is harsh however it is reality too. The debate was that, different wants and needs kills love. Being fussy and demanding can get irritating and maybe with someone who shares your values in life will be able to keep the relationship going.
One thing I realised in this conversation was that most of them had given up on ‘love’ including the ones in relationships. One thing they said was, ‘if he respects me and gives me everything then that enough. Love is no longer a validation.’ Is this how it always has been like or is it just the millenniums? Maybe they are right. Maybe love is just a fiction, a feeling that fades away like all others. What do you think?
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