know how to define the feeling of living in an atmosphere where people are not grateful
of each other’s presence.
members don’t know the basic rule of being a family and the atmosphere is 24/7
tensed, mourning and hopeless. I don’t know how to breath in such air what kind
of oxygen my lungs are inhaling, what benefit is anulom vilom going to bring in
such hostile condition.
nurtured by a mother who enjoys cribbing and crying more than laughing and
being happy. Who curses each day of being born and feels envious to any
happy person around her. What mind frame of that kid should have I don’t know.
At one side that kid is fighting to survive in a happy place which she weaves
around her, on the other hand her mother tells her to stop dreaming and imagining a happy world. Elders are busy instructing not to dream not to live,not to be
happy. Only aim of life is to pass each and every day cautiously as if next day a
huge problem is waiting for us at door and we have to be uptight all the time
to face the unseen. No fundamentals of living loose or carefree,we are brought
up in a war like situation.
you feel when your mother has totally given up on life and doesn’t want to
spend a single happy moment with you. You are happy that she is there with you,
but she doesn’t cherishes the same.
you get up to see a positive change in your surroundings but all you get is
more disappointment and sadism from people who you think are your own, your
parents, your family. How can some love them when they are dejecting the existence
of love on this earth?
someone be with them when they only dream of sending you far away. Is it bad to
feel so complaining or is it fine to complain as you have heard only complains
all your life? Doesn’t this habit gets integrated in your DNA? doesn’t this
becomes a part of your thinking? I don’t know what this dilemma can be called,
it can be called Dilemma only coz you don’t know what can be right and what can
be wrong, and wrong is not right and right is not wrong.
wrong to tell that you are doing wrong or is it useless coz by now you should
understand that this the life they chose for themselves and are very
comfortable in being unhappy? How can anybody be happy in being unhappy, can
this be called real sadism?